I’m Not a Failure, I’m a Success!

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.-Mark Twain

When you have a dream, one of the most discouraging things that you can face is that your loved ones, the people closest to you, don’t believe in the dreams that you have. Instead, they try and convince you that they know what is best for you, when in reality they haven’t really taken the time to see the person you’ve become and the things in life that you actually need.

When you ask for the support of those you care about, it can be hard for them to accept the things you feel you need to do with your life. Oftentimes, their fears are projected on to you. I’ve chosen not to let the fears of others deter me from the course my life has taken. It’s a scary ride, and I have no idea where it will turn out, but I’m enjoying the journey.

Some people may sit back and judge me because I dropped out of school. (I did pass my GED test with some of the highest scores in the state and I wrote an amazing essay that garnered me some recognition, but these seem to be things that others overlook.

People may think my leaving school was a cop out, when in reality I was preserving myself for things yet to come. I wanted to live, and in order to do that, I needed to move my life towards a different direction, a course less-traveled and often more uncertain than the ones we are told take while in school. Even so, after I took that initial step, I didn’t look back. I kept moving forward to a destination that I didn’t know of, but looked forward to.

As a teenager, I faced many obstacles and experiences, some of which could have destroyed me. Instead, I found strength within myself to let those obstacles empower me. I didn’t sit back on the sidelines and let my life leave me behind. I took hold of the reins and directed my life in the direction that I wanted it to go.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve used my writing as a way to express things that I’m feeling inside, things that hurt me and need to be set free. During my turbulent teenage years, my writing was often dark and void of happiness. Now, things I write are filled with love, warmth and joy. I’ve learned how to appreciate everything around me no matter insignificant it may seem to others. These discoveries are reflected in everything that I write.

Even though writing was a huge part of my life, it took giving birth to my daughter to really push me towards a career that involved sharing my thoughts, feelings and experiences with others. When I finally realized where my life was headed, I was filled with excitement. Before then, my dream of writing was nothing more than a dream. It was something that I never thought I’d succeed at. Now, I feel that it’s attainable. It’s within my reach.

Aside from my dream of writing, another dream I had was to be able to work from home. Those that choose to work from home face many misconceptions about what that means. Some people look at my choice to as a sign of weakness that I’m afraid to be around others. Yes, I’ve been burned by co-workers, but my decision to work from home was based on entirely different reasons. Just because I’ve chosen a less conventional way of living doesn’t mean that I’m any less successful than those around me.

Even knowing the things I do, I still wish that people could see that the decisions I’ve made have not been out of weakness, but have been out of strength and a belief in myself that I can do anything that I set my mind to.

I am not a weak. I am strong. I don’t let the hard times in life keep me down for long. I regroup, stand back up and face another day.

I am not a coward. Yes, I may be scared of the uncertainties in my life, but I don’t let it stop me from reaching for what I want.

I do have self-confidence. It is quiet, but is there. I believe in my talents and in me.

I’m not a bad mom. I may not be perfect, but I never claimed I was. My kids have food in their stomachs, clothes on their backs, a roof over their heads and parents that love them.

You don’t have to be proud of me, but I wish you would be because I’m proud of myself and all that I’ve done with my life. I’m proud that I believe in myself and my talent so much that I will reach for it, even though they are no guarantees in life. I’m proud of the person I’ve become. I’m happy. My life is not perfect, but whose is? I don’t need you to tell me how to live my life. I need you to support the decisions that I make. I need you to believe that I’m smart enough to know what is good for me and my family. I want you to know that any decision I make is also made in hopes of giving my children a better life.

I will not stop dreaming. I will not give up, so believe in my dream like I do. I don’t want to look back on my life and wonder why I didn’t do more with it. I want to know that I gave it everything I could. I want to know that if things don’t turn out the way I want, that at least I didn’t let fears hold me back. I want to set an example for my kids. I want them to see that their mother believed in herself and reached for dreams. I want my kids to do the same thing.

See me as the woman I’ve become and not as the girl I once was. I’m not a failure. I’m a success. Had I not made the choices that I did in my life, I would not be able to write these words and stand fast in my belief that I can do anything.

This entry was posted on Friday, January 16th, 2009 at 15:25 and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Post a Comment

CommentLuv badge